As hopelessly unattainable as the world of golden people

電影中April在Frank發脾氣後終於放棄了墮胎和去巴黎，然後努力地扮演好妻子的角色弄一個極度壓抑的早餐，怎料在「DIY」墮胎後失血致死。原著小說中這頓早餐的細節一樣(“Would you like scrambled eggs, or fried?”)，但原來她在之前的一夜無眠已經徹底幻滅，她與Frank建立關係的唯一假設--「我們都是特別的人」徹底崩潰。於是這頓飯不是她刻意回到她所恨的虛空美國城郊中產生活，而是恰好相反。之後她冷靜地用那個膠管墮胎前抄了醫院的電話在手邊，再留下一句話給Frank。她根本是知道的。

'The sight of him, in the early blue light, sprawled out and twisted in his wrinkled Sunday sports clothes, had been as much of a shock as if she’d found a stranger in the bed. When she sat down in the reek of whiskey to get a closer look at his flushed, sleeping face, she began to understand the real cause of her shock: it was much more than the knowledge that she didn’t love him. It was that she didn’t, she couldn’t possibly hate him. How could anyone hate him? He was – well, he was Frank.
[….]
So it hadn’t been wrong or dishonest of her to say no this morning when he asked if she hated him, any more than it had been wrong or dishonest to serve him the elaborate breakfast and to show the elaborate interest in his work, and to kiss him goodbye. The kiss, for that matter, had been exactly right – a perfectly fair, friendly kiss, a kiss for a boy you’d just met at a party, a boy who’d danced with you and made you laugh and walked you home afterwards, talking about himself all the way.

The only real mistake, the only wrong and dishonest thing, was ever to have seen him as anything more than that. Oh, for a month or two, just for fun, it might be all right to play a game like that with a boy; but all these years! And all because, in a sentimentally lonely time long ago, she had found it easy and agreeable to believe whatever this one particular boy felt like saying, and to repay him for that pleasure by telling easy, agreeable lies of her own, until each was saying what the other most wanted to hear – until he was saying “I love you” and she was saying “Really, I mean it; you’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met.”

What a subtle, treacherous thing it was to let yourself go that way! […] the next thing you knew all honesty, all truth, was as far away and glimmering, as hopelessly unattainable as the world of golden people. Then you discovered you were working at life the way the Laurel Players worked at The Petrified Forest (就是電影/小說開首她,April,在演的失敗話劇)[…] then you were breathing gasoline as if it were flowers and abandoning yourself to a delirium of love under the weight of a clumsy, grunting, red-faced man you didn’t even like—Shep Campbell—and then you were face to face, in total darkness, with the knowledge that you didn’t know who you were.

And how could anyone else be blamed for that?'

Revolutionary Road – Richard Yates