your slightest look will easily unclose me

謝謝你師姐(我還是亂叫)。行不到直線就伸長兩手像僵屍丈著阿拉找到巴士站。我只喝了1 又1/2杯，也許不需要酒精，我快要像安卓珍妮那樣可以自我繁殖。上了車還是在傻笑。眼中的風景詭異,我看見它飛過貨櫃碼頭飛過美孚汀九, 我覺得它正在駛進地球的內部, 永不停下來。

~~

「帶我去遠方」。我今天才開始看電影節。這齣電影很美。音樂很美。演員很美。我很想要那男生房間裡的馬車—一隻寫實的馬的頭和胸腹加上兩隻自行車輪和腳踏。我要在香港的街上騎它(真搞笑，跟某文藝女生談起魂斷威尼斯，我說我要那個衣箱，美麗的皮衣箱裡面衣服可以一件件掛起來。她說，of all things, you only want the trunk!!。係喎。我忘了還有美少年….。哈哈。) 這個睡覺也要抱著昆德拉或 cummings，對八歲(?)小女孩講百年孤寂故事的男生實在文藝到不得不自殺。而若果我是那女孩而你在這麼個夏天和我玩國際打招呼的方式然後抱我，我也會當場死掉的。

最終阿kuei把地圖上期待的虛線塗掉，我覺得很不爽但沒法子，那是成長。我的地圖還是塗了又畫、畫了又塗。男孩的紐約海報還有雙子塔，很邪。他也許永遠也不能去。城市陷落我們都急著把它比作某些感情的開始或終結。那一場瘟疫時城市在害SARS我就索性把那人叫SARS。而現在香港(的股市)陷落了我得找些事來給它當理由……

男生自殺前唸的詩:

e.e. cummings - somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look will easily unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands